A few paragraphs into this interesting article and my eyes are starting to water.
But a week ago, as we were packing her lunch, Katie said, “My Star Wars water bottle is too small. It doesn’t hold enough water. Can I take a different one?” She searched through the cupboard until she found a pink water bottle and said, “I’ll bring this.”I was perplexed. “Katie, that water bottle is no bigger than your Star Wars one. I think it is actually smaller.”
“It’s fine, I’ll just take it,” she insisted.
I kept pushing the issue, because it didn’t make sense to me. Suddenly, Katie burst into tears.
She wailed, “The first grade boys are teasing me at lunch because I have a Star Wars water bottle. They say it’s only for boys. Every day they make fun of me for drinking out of it. I want them to stop, so I’ll just bring a pink water bottle.”
Of course that story would turn me into rubber. It is heartbreaking to see a child compensate for socialization in that way.
But the article gets way better, because it points out that it isn’t just girls who are being taught a role and behavior. Women face this every day. I know this from personal experience, watching my friends being twisted up inside, because if they stand up to nonsense speech that marginalize them for any number of reasons they are going against the harmony of the moment/group/conversation/whatever. Seeing this caused me to take steps to learn more about feminism, for alternatives to what was on offer.
That story still gets me, though, in part because part of my identity is as a survivor of child abuse. I don’t abuse myself or others, and have healed enough to be an advocate for prevention of abuse. Making the connection that this kind of subtle manipulation between children and adults has disturbed me. I know I don’t stand up for adults as much as children, and I wonder if I have not been as supportive or receptive because of my bias.
I am gonna digest this for a while, would love to hear your thoughts on it.