When I was a child I swore, multiple times, that I would never have children. It always happened when I was sick. The world was so amazingly, utterly miserable. I didn’t want to contribute to that. Why would I want that to happen to my children?
Unfortunately Distrubingly Surprisingly Hilariously, that stuck with me my whole life, and was something I had to come to terms with as recently as 18 months ago. I’ll let you do the math.
Clover was sick for the larger part of this last week. It took us by surprise, but it wasn’t as horrible as 8 year-old me thought. It was mostly restless nights as Clover woke up every 15 minutes to hock whatever was draining out eir head piping. Susan was amazing, somehow being able to comfort Clover in those waking moments, so that e may go back to sleep. And then Susan would go to work and take care of many other children. I would be drained by the end of the day, but I couldn’t let on because that was such a let down next to Susan. Also, I lied, I totally let on. Also also, Susan makes me look like a chump sometimes. 
Anyhow, Clover is doing better, and I am hoping we recuperate this weekend. Clover still coughs in the middle of the night, and I still wake up like a wild person, ready to leap up and do CPR or fight off a bear. I am conflicted, because I would prefer to not wake up with my heart pounding my body into overdrive. However, that would mean being used to Clover coughing at night…
Crazed wake up sequence, go!