Last week, Susan and I went to the hospital. She was afflicted with something that was probably the stomach flu. She posted a version of the events, as well.
We were there for 18 hours. She gave blood for testing three times, was administered a shot to stop contractions induced by dehydration, and went through six IV bags of stuff they give you when your body is really, really thirsty.
We got in at 10:30PM, and were released at 4:30PM the next day. We came home exhausted, but feeling much better. We crashed, hard, that night. The next day we took it easy, until we returned to the hospital for a pregnancy class.
Then we went back two days later for a 7 hour class.
It was a roller coaster is every sense: physically, mentally and spiritually. However, I feel really fortunate that we are experiencing this the way we are.
We consider our overnight stay to be a test run, as we went through many of the motions of pre-labor, and were even transferred to a delivery room halfway through. We walked around the hospital, slowly, as we pulled along our IV stand, external monitor cables wrapped around it. And everywhere we went there were smiling faces. It was a reassuring experience.
The classes are also wonderful, though they certainly push me out of my comfort zone. Susan seems fine, but I leave each class with a lot of blah energy, and I need to at least have a deep cry and a sleep before I can fully digest it all. But that is the difference in how we are experiencing it; Susan has an instinctual understanding that she will do what she needs to do. The videos and facts are just extras to the whole body knowledge she has.
I, on the other hand, besides having a completely different set of urges and chemicals enveloping me, have a personality that finds catharsis in knowledge. Sometimes it can frustrate me, like historical atrocities and injustices. Sometimes it inspires me, such wondrous innovations and examples of compassion. But there is a disconnect for me, in collecting and organizing all the facts and possibilities surrounding childbirth.
Humans are amazing. I know this because I’ve met Susan and Clover. I knew this before, but not at this level. Humans are really awesome. I don’t think I will ever get tired of learning about human development. I see it everywhere, now. Before my interest lay in early childhood because of those formative years, but now my timeline for humans start and end just before and after the person does. Amazing.
That is why there is contention in me. Not because I truly fear or doubt that Susan and Clover can perform the task that is required of them; it is because that inner conflict in me is how I transform into what is required of me. When I am on edge, I am at my best, and that is when I feel I can assist Susan the most.
It is early on a Thursday, and later we will visit the midwife and then attend another class. We are old hands at this, now. We know the shortcuts to everywhere, and I think the security guards and some nurses know us by now. We have a lot of support and terrific facilities for our pregnancy. I’ve never felt as wealthy as I have knowing that the two people I am attached to so much are being taken care of so well.
It gives me confidence.