How can I be confident without introducing even more doubt?

Each time I feel like I am overcoming my self-doubt or impostor syndrome or whatever, I have this mental whiplash where my brain starts checking me, to ensure I don’t became an asshole.

To put it bluntly, I think I am continuing a program I created when I was very young, where I would constantly rewrite the behavior around me in my imagination, to ensure I never became like the adults around me.

And here’s the thing, I am okay with that. I don’t think that is necessarily a bad default. But if I can’t make it one of many “modes” I can switch through, it is a problem.

I suppose one way to approach it, in the form of a question: how are you sure you know what you are doing? And that can apply to any level.

For instance, I don’t think I am wandering the desert as far as life is concerned, but I also wouldn’t say I found the secret handbook and everything is working out fine. But if you ask me if I “know WordPress stuff”, I would agree, without qualification.


Why am I not that confident on topics concerning my emotional life? What are the steps to reprogram that portion of my personality, so it can be a tool rather than a permanent filter? :thinking:


I know this is an old thread but v relatable. Moving across the country has been a huge thing for me to go through, I feel like I’m having to relearn how to be a human being in some ways.
Validation from those close to you and from people around you in a particular sphere of your life can be super useful.


i get a lot out of hearing others’ stories. if i hear enough stories about “i didn’t know wtf i was doing and blundered through it” then maybe i’ll believe that i’ll be okay while i don’t know wtf i’m doing and blundering through everything, too.

1 Like

i’m glad you found this thread! i’m a fan of this being a group for talking sometimes slowly.

1 Like