There are two moments, or events, really, that bring tremendous happiness to me.
The first doesn’t happen as often as it did when I was younger and in school. It is when you are in a classroom of students, and everyone is chatting, creating an ambient blanket of murmurs and hushed whispers that envelope the room. And suddenly… nothing. Everyone is quiet at the same time, and for no reason. This of course becomes the reason, a self-fulfilling prophecy of inaction. My favorite part was when everyone realizes what happened, and no one wants to laugh, lest they break the silence. Just goofy grins all around.
The other moment happens to me a lot more, now, and it may have replaced the first. Because I often walk around late at night, I sometimes walk in the middle of the street, or just stare at empty lanes and neighborhoods devoid of activity. Sometimes when I am lounging on a corner, or talking with a friend, the calm night is broken by a sudden rush of traffic from every direction. Multiple cars and trucks, a bus thrown in, a few cyclists, some other stray pedestrian, coming from all over. And just as quickly, they are gone!
I am not sure what the correlation is, but I think one exists between my observations of these phenomena, and the way I think about life. I am human, so I have to deal with comfort and stability just like everyone else, but I imagine that my personal instance of human leans towards drastic, beautiful and emergent change, more so than the majority of people around me. I feel like I am in a chrysalis most of the time, waiting for a dramatic situation to present itself to myself emerge, prepared for the “crisis”.
That would explain my self-sabotaging behavior that affects many aspects of my life. Neat.