Clover has exhibited stranger anxiety lately. It is surprising, considering how of a social caterpillar e is. Smiles and waves all around, normally. But in the last week that has changed.
We thought that maybe e was just introverting due to illness; all three of us have had these head colds for a week. However, it became clear that Clover was leaning on us, figuratively and literally, a lot more when people got too close. I love it. I mean, it sucks when a child is anxious about anything, but it is touching to know that you are a source of comfort and safety for someone so adorable.
So, I was digging that. Until… well… until I shaved my beard…
And Clover flipped out.
I can’t really go into all the detail, but needless to say, it was an emotionally exhaustive couple of hours as Clover got reaquainted with my eyes, voices, smell, mannerisms and demeanor. I told Susan while she was pregnant that I am going to have to be careful about changing my look drastically, so that Clover will recognize me. Tonight Susan saw how it plays out.
Another observation I have is kinda silly, but also profound: I use my beard to interact with Clover. A lot.
I took it for granted. I didn’t realize that Clover gently runs eir fingers through it, and kinda holds it as we walk around. Or that I rub my face against eir head, or tickle eir cheeks; neither of us knows how close to get now, because we are a couple of inches apart and are expecting to be connected. It is just this really odd part of myself that I hadn’t realized I used to interact with my babby.
So we made a deal. I will grow it back (probably in a couple of days), and keep it maintained, rather than my binary “wooly-man becomes young stranger” workflow I use now. If that is a point of consistency in eir life, I will gladly put forth the effort to maintain it. And in return I get snuggles and directional beard tugs.
Win-win. 