Since Clover joined the party it feels like we execute big life-changing plans every month. A lot of that is probably us adjusting to being a family with a babby. Now that we have gotten use to that, we are working on scary stuff, things that would feel impossible before.
I will probably talk about those plans someday, but for today I just wanted to share my feelings about Clover being in school. Today is eir last.
When we started, it was a really terrific experience, and it is hard to believe that even just a month ago, e wasn’t walking. Being around the other kids definitely accelerated certain parts of eir development.
We had a few illnesses since then, and there was a major shift in Clover’s engagement. E came out of it hardly eating at all (which we’ve been told is normal; since digestion takes up a lot of energy, little kids will sometimes redirect it to fighting disease), and seems to have a sharp awareness that is affecting our ability to be away from em without a freak out.
I am not too concerned, since e is running around, and learning new things constantly. Clover will watch me do something simple once, and will master it after a few tries. But after a couple of hours, e starts looking for Susan or I, and when e determines we are not to be found, intense crying happens.
I had worried that perhaps we were going to have a hard time letting go, but Susan mentioned it to me, and I was glad, because I felt the same way: Clover had outgrown the class e was in. Not age- or development-wise. But those particular activities and people, Clover was over it.
E doesn’t really play with other kids. E is definitely aware of others, but it is as fascinating as that rock over there, or this shoe on eir foot. Clover absolutely adores adult attention, having probably figured out that you must be at least this dextrous to use the big cold food box. Anyhow, we feel that Clover isn’t getting much out of the experience, and is instead just being filled with anxiety that we aren’t there. And we have the good fortune to do something about that.
I was running errands downtown with em in the stroller. Someone shouted at me, “I just want you to know, you are awesome! I am going to be a father soon!” I told them, without hesitation and completely honestly, “Becoming a parent was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
It is hard, but we are working towards our plans, and Clover is not freaking out. It is the best thing that ever happened to me. 